Edgeworth's Diary
by MadManMatt64
Summary: A Potter Puppet Pals Phoenix Wright crossover. Phoenix "finds" Edgey's diary and him, Maya, and Larry read the contents.


Edgeworth's Diary

Another boring day at Wright and Co. Law Offices. Phoenix wasn't in right now, so Maya and Larry (who had stopped by for a social call) were talking about random stuff, usually having to do with either hamburgers or past girlfriends. In the background a radio was on a channel with a talk show playing. They would have turned it off but they were both too lazy to do anything except sit and talk. Then the door flew open, and who should be there but Phoenix Wright, holding a book in his hand. He said excitedly, "Guys, you'll never guess what I found!".

Maya look at the book and said in a flat tone, "Its just a book Nick, its nothing special.".

Larry looked a little confused, "Yeah Nick, why should we care about a book.".

Phoenix lowered his giddy tone, "This isn't a book, its _the _book.".

Maya scratched her head and said, "A young adult vampire romance novel?".

Phoenix gave her a look and then pointed to a corner. She sighed and went to stand in the corner. He continued, "Anyway, this is Edgeworth's diary! I found it locked in a box in a secret compartment under his bed!".

Now Larry was excited, "Are we going to read it?".

Phoenix rolled his eyes, "Are we gong to read it? Of course we're going to read it!".

He opened the book and told Maya that she could join them again, "Alright, here's the first entry."

'_I had oatmeal for breakfast today. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried._'

"I'm hungry Nick.", Maya said.

Phoenix just sighed, "So what else is new?"

Then, as if it had heard the little exchange, the radio with the talk show playing suddenly shouted, "FAT!"

Phoenix went over and turned the radio off. He then went back to reading, '_Today I went to the pet shop and bought two fancy mice. When I got home I discovered that one had eaten the other and then died of loneliness. How I envy those mice._'

"Boy, I didn't think that Mr. Edgeworth was so depressive.", Maya thought aloud.

"Actually that's normal for him.", Larry declared, "He was really melodramatic in school. I guess he doesn't show it much anymore.".

Maya looked uncertain though, "Still, being jealous of dead mice? That's a little out there."

Phoenix now spoke, "Since when has Edgeworth ever not been out there? Lets just get on with this."

'_Today I encountered Wright at the Prosecutor's Office. After talking with him for a while he pushed me into a wall and punched me repeatedly, shouting, "Bother, bother", over and over. Later he came back with his assistant and repeated the violent act until I lost consciousness. When I came to, I prayed for the first time in 17 years. I prayed for the end._'

Phoenix smiled, "Oh yeah, I remember that.", he then raised his hand, "Give me five Maya."

She looked at his hand, "You never pay me Nick."

"That's not what I-" Phoenix began, but he decided against it, "Never mind.".

'_Today I lost a button on my suit. Lana pointed it out in front of everybody during lunch. Oh, cruel attention. Button, oh, button, where hath thou fled? Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric, and thread? Did thee roll off my bosom, and cease to exist? How I wish I could follow thee, into the mist._'

Maya thought about the last entry, "You know, if you think about it, Mr. Edgeworth is a good poet.".

Phoenix nodded, "Yeah, too bad its wasted on stuff like this.".

Larry had a different thought though, "Hey Nick, whats a bosom?"

Phoenix was taken slightly aback at the question. Maya didn't help either when she said, "Yeah Nick, tell him."

He was quick to change the subject, "Oh look, another page.", he then read '_Today in the bathtub,_'

"EEWWWW!", they all said aloud.

'_I fell asleep. I dreamed that I was riding on the back off a giant gavel in a thunderstorm. Each thunderclap resulted in their voices, "Bother". Suddenly, the words turned to music. I was at the Prosecutor's Ball with Franziska von Karma. I asked her to dance. She asked me to die. Would if I could Franziska, would if I could._'

"Suddenly I respect Franziska a little bit more then usual.", said Phoenix. He then went back to reading.

'_When I woke up, my skin was prune-like from the lukewarm bathwater, and I was late for golf with Detective Gumshoe.'_

Maya's thoughts suddenly turned to food, "I don't know why, but now I feel like eating prunes."

Suddenly, the Judge ran through the Wright & Co. Law Offices door while asking, "Did somebody say prunes?"

Maya shouted, "I said... EWWWW!"

The this ewwww, came from the fact that the Judge was naked at this time for no adequately explained reason other than the fact that Larry could say, "Talk about prune-like."

The Judge then asked them, "What are you monkeys up to? Studying for your next case maybe?"

Phoenix covered his eyes, "Um... we're reading through some of Edgeworth's diary so that we can make fun of him about it later."

The Judge just looked at them, "So, you don't have any prunes?"

"Uh... no?", Phoenix said confused.

The Judge gave them all a hard stare, "I am very disappointed in all of you."

And with that, the Judge left without another word. Very confused and severely scarred by what had just happened Phoenix just continued reading from the book.

_'Today, Wright's assistant drank one of my more teas on a dare from Wright saying that she had to try more sophisticated drinks other that soda. When she drank some she promptly vomited a sweet smelling sick, while everyone in the room roared with applause, triggering my migraine. I kicked everyone out and was left to clean the girl's sick. Halfway through Godot showed up and bragged about his many affairs with Borscht Bowl Club barmaids, then he told me I smelled of broccoli and left without wishing me a happy birthday. I thought of my father. I cried.' _

Larry sighed, "Nick this is getting boring. Let's write something in it."

Phoenix looked a Larry, "You know, for an idiot sometimes you get good ideas."

Larry scratched the back of his head, "Guess it comes with the territory."

Maya ran off to Phoenix's desk and came back with a pencil. She gave it to Phoenix and he began writing, 'I am Edgeworth. I am so sad because I poop my pants all the time. I don't have any friends because I stink like broccoli and poop. I fight in the courtroom with Phoenix Wright, and it's really sad because he is so awesome and it makes me have depression. Okay, I think I'm gonna go now, but not before I poop my pants. Bye.'

Maya and Larry were having a good laugh. Through her bouts of laughter Maya said, "That was funny Nick! Immature, but funny nonetheless!"

Larry was still giggling a little bit when he asked Phoenix, "Hey Nick, can I try?"

Phoenix gave Larry the pencil saying, "Be my guest."

What followed, was the most pitiful display of writing ever seen outside a kindergarten essay contest. He was talking out loud as he wrote, "I... am... E... D-"

Maya stopped him, "Okay Larry you did your best. Just try again later."

Then, out of nowhere, Miles walks in through the door holding his head and saying, "Wright, could you help me? Someone knocked me unconscious and ransacked my room-", he stopped when he saw his diary in Larry's hands, "Where did you get that book? What are you doing?"

Thinking quickly, Phoenix shouted, "Edgeworth, um... Larry stole your diary!"

Edgeworth wouldn't have believed this if he was in right state mind, but he had recently been knock unconscious so he wasn't, "WHAT! You didn't read it did you?"

Maya chipped in so that she wouldn't get in trouble, "Yeah! He read every single word!"

Miles suddenly became calm, "Larry, I didn't like you before, but know I hate you. Tell me, would you rather I sue you for everything your worth (which admittedly isn't much), or kill you where you stand."

Larry held the book up in defense and shouted, "I liked the entry about the button!"

Miles' rage was stemmed for a moment, "Really?"

Larry saw his chance to get out and he took it, "Uh, yeah. It made me sad thinking about that little button, all lost and alone. I, uh, sure hope that you find that you find that button of yours Edgey."

Miles suddenly teared up, "So do I Larry. So do I."

And with that Miles left the office in search of his lost button 


End file.
